From vulnerability

Boo! Halloween Channeling

Halloween design with haunted house

Are you frightened my darling? On top of it being Halloween, a time when the veils between dimensions are most thin, the world seems to be spinning out of control. Along with rampant Cubs frenzy, my neighborhood is littered with skulls arising from still green lawns, bed-sheet ghosts floating above RIP gravestones, and other charmingly deathly décor. But none of these things are as scary to me as my desk stacked high with unfiled papers, reams of never-to-be read emails piling up in my mailbox, dishes in the sink, and the constant ding of texts claiming residence on my cell phone.

I know the speedy intensity of these times is both alarming to some and to others, incredibly exciting and stimulating. There seems to be a regular state of chaos flowing through torrents of unexpected events happening quite regularly most days: Airplane disasters, news-breaking crimes, record-setting storms, relentless Wiki-leaks and cyber-attacks, car, phone and toy recalls, and other endlessly alarming global events. There are also incredible stories of miraculous healings, poignant tales of inspiration and hope, scientific discoveries, and breakthroughs in medicine. There are also so many of us now talking about peace and Oneness, which is thrilling!

Through the media, we hear it all. Are you overwhelmed? Do you find the “unexpected” nerve-wracking or does it excite or energize you? I confess I’ve been in the overwhelmed camp lately.

I’ve been watching the World Series on television. I don’t usually watch t.v. much, but as a Chicagoan, I’ve been feeling anxious for days for the Cubs, and glued to the television each game night…and I’m not typically a sports fan! Still, I’ve been choosing to watch the games, rather than attend to the slew of other things in my home that need doing. There is something incredibly addictive and distracting about the anxiety-inducing World Series and the general chaos going on in the background (called LIFE). Even with an impressive meditation routine (if I must say so myself), and an equally diligent exercise and healthy-eating regimen, I am feeling both hyped up and tired at the same time.

This is coming along with the tsunami of presidential and political campaigns and upcoming election day – so nerve-wracking. Observing the constant tension in myself and those in my sphere fills me with compassion for humanity’s vulnerability; for the speed and quantity of stimulation is so ramped up that many of us seem over-run by it. Lateness, snappish driving reactions, missed appointments, forgotten tasks, menopausal moments, little mistakes, drinking too much, eating too much, not sleeping enough…feeling tired; This is what I observe in people around me.

Are we supposed to be getting used to this intensity as the new normal? Is there really no going back to feeling calm, well-rested, organized, and innocently optimistic?

The other day, I was discussing with someone whether the upcoming winter might be colder than normal, as has been predicted. The woman said, you can look to a horse’s winter coat as a sign – a thicker coat means a colder winter ahead. Evidently, horses are able to  instinctively grow more hair. That’s how connected these beautiful creatures are. We are animals; I wondered what my body might subtly be communicating or if I could even hear or see its message amidst the loud clatter of society’s group mind nowadays.

What I know with certainty is that my body is craving orange vegetables; for I had a dream about sweet potatoes the other night and butternut squash the next! That was bizarre and exciting to me because it’s an easy message to decipher: eat more sweet potatoes and squash, which I’ve been doing with pleasure. Either that or the Great Pumpkin has invaded my dream life!

Unfortunately my body is actually communicating very audibly, now that I think about it, when I’m around too many people and too much traffic – which is most of the time. It’s grumbling irritably, “I can’t stand all the noise! I want to be alone!” This particularly high sensitivity lately, despite the usually balancing routines and patterns, alarms me, for being a hermit doesn’t fit my image of living in Oneness. So I asked one of my Spirit Guides, the Cosmic one, for some higher guidance. This is my Guide’s response and I’d like to share it in the event that it might speak to you as well:

“Get real and come down from the clouds. This is your world now. Put one foot in front of the other and slug through this soup of stimulation. It’s a great way to discern what, and who, is yours. You will bounce off what is not meant to be yours – whether people or things – and by letting go of your previous self-image, you’ll end up with a new you, at least the authentic ‘you’ of this moment. Yes, life is speedy now and you can’t keep up with all the change. But open up to it anyway. You’ve lost control of your email and you’ve lost control of your time – in fact, perhaps you’ve lost your very mind. Good for you!

It’s time to go with the flow and don’t judge it. Relax into the roller-coaster ride because, yes, there is no going back. It’s time to let go. All you truly have right now is this unique moment, so enjoy it to the fullest. See your fear of unpredictability. See what falls away. Go easy on yourself. Your life can’t be perfectly organized and efficient if you say you want to live fully. Enjoy your anxiety, your imperfections, and the miracles too – watch it all with humor and appreciation. Don’t resist the flow of life. Oh yes, and breath deeply.”

So it’s that again – breath deeply. Why do I forget that so often? I tend to hold my breath when anxious. Thank you Cosmic Guide; I needed the reminder. We’re all having a human experience … and this is what being human is like now. It’s intense, exciting, scary, and often unpredictable. It’s especially miraculous too!

So pardon me Cleveland, but ‘hey Chicago, what do you say, Cubs are gonna win today!” I’m a sports fan and I didn’t even know it. If that can change, what other miraculous possibilities does the future hold, I wonder! Hello Great Pumpkin, bring it!


Fairy Tales Can Come True…

bright picture of adorable baby boy over white

“….it can happen to you, If you’re young at heart”. Remember the song that Frank Sinatra and Walt Disney made so famous? If you aren’t familiar with it or would like a boost of innocence, wisdom, and sweet hope, have a listen:

The song is a classic because it speaks to the hunger in so many of us to recapture our innocent joy and the fulfillment of our youthful passion and dreams. Even if your childhood was challenging, as so many childhoods are, perhaps you can remember certain times or activities that brought you great joy and a sense of autonomy — or a connection to something bigger than your family.

For me, getting on my bicycle seems to instantly conjure a powerful memory of joyfully riding my bike alone, at about age 10, to my piano lessons at the home of Mrs. Bonebreak (yes, it was really her name!). She was my piano teacher who lived about 6 or 7 blocks away in our subdivision. I know it wasn’t far, but I guess part of the thrill was feeling a little like a grown-up, out on a mission after school, without parental supervision or my younger sister tagging along.

Perhaps part of the joy was also about my dreams of creating music. In the beginning, I think I had fantasies of being a great piano player someday. Unfortunately, my first big recital, in front of maybe a hundred or more people, was nerve-wrackingly overwhelming and, in fact traumatizing, causing me to toss my dreams of future piano playing. I am not going to blame my parents for letting me quit – been there, done that. And I really wasn’t all that talented, to be honest. Nevertheless, live music can move me now to blissful tears of joy.

But I digress; the point I’m trying to make is that when we are young, we have innocent hope, and we have dreams. As we age, “life” happens to our heart-felt dreams, and they begin to calcify. Perhaps we settle for less than what we had been hoping for. Perhaps loss, disappointment, self-judgment, and resignation creep in, along with hectic schedules, grown-up responsibilities, diminishing physical vitality and just plain not as much fun…need I say more? Can you relate a bit?

As our fun shrinks, so can our gratitude and even our hope. This will surely make you feel and look old. I’m often reminded of that saying that goes something like this: It’s easy to be grateful when you’re sitting down to a feast; but the challenge (and mastery) is to be grateful when you’re starving. How do you hang on to gratitude and youthful hope when the external world isn’t giving you what you are wanting?

The key is to remember to return to feeling “young at heart” by refreshing your spirit when feeling overwhelmed by all the grown-up stuff – the constant bills, the heavy schedules, the inevitable communication problems, the inevitable losses, lack of sleep, disappointment, and more. Feeling young is to be curious, to be open to the new, to take risks, to play, and to be vulnerable. Without vulnerability and some risk-taking, nothing new can come in; you’re only replaying the same old patterns, beliefs, and habits. Life gets small if you lose fun, courage, and hope – please don’t let that happen. Find what puts a “song” in your heart. Here are 7 things I do regularly to keep my heart feeling young:

  1. I have a daily meditation practice to turn inward; it’s a time for only my authentic, inner experience – not attending to the needs of others or the perceived pressures of life. This is refreshment from the Source! Drinking in the sweet juiciness of the present moment, there’s nothing to do but just BE. The more I drink, the sweeter I realize it is. I also feel blessed that I can give myself Deeksha to quickly connect with this sacred space.
  1. If I’m so unhappy that I can’t conjure up the will to meditate, I play some of my favorite music to lift me out of dullness or funk. If it moves me to dance or sway a bit, I’ve struck gold!
  1. I get outside and move the body. One of my big joys is simply taking a walk in a natural setting. Walking can be great meditation, as can any athletic movement – swimming, biking, running. Yoga is great. All kinds of movement get me out of my head and into my body. Bodies are made to move and we can help shift stagnant energy in our auric energy field by moving.
  1. I feel my emotions as fully and as much as possible. I let myself cry, laugh heartily, love, or feel absolutely despondent. Humans are meant to feel; this, too, shifts stuck energy in our field.
  1. I create; Creativity is our very nature. For me, it’s writing. For someone else, it might be anything from sculpting, to cooking, gardening, or re-organizing the garage. I recommend doing what makes you lose track of time!
  1. I call or hang out with loved ones and friends when I’m feeling hopeless or low. Even though it might be your inclination, I don’t recommend isolating yourself when you feel unlovable. Humans need humans, or perhaps an adoring pet, to remind you that you’re not alone in this world.
  1. I give away my time, talent, and treasures. You’ve got to give it away to have it! When you feel depleted, that’s the time to help someone, somehow. Like it’s said, it’s easy to be grateful at a feast, but when you’re hungry, this is the time to rally – even if you have to fake it ‘till you make it, if necessary. Give!

And here’s a really powerful secret: Give away what you want to receive. It really works. Perhaps you won’t receive what you’re hoping for, on your timetable, and perhaps you’ll not receive it from the source you give to, but do give with faith, as if you have a limitless supply; for in fact you do. The universe is constantly flowing energy, so get in the flow of life to stay young at heart…your fairy tales might just come true!

If you are looking for support (and some magical fun)  in sparking your creativity or igniting your dreams, please consider joining an upcoming six-week, telephonic and shamanic, Career & Creativity Empowerment Group. You’ll meet and work with your own, personal Spiritual Guide to dispel the inner obstacles and roadblocks to empowered success. We’ll be doing shamanic journeying each week and you’ll receive Deeksha to put wings under your feet. This group begins Wednesday, Sept. 7, from 7:30-9pm Central time. Check it out here. Please let me know if you have questions or want to register — email me at Only a couple of spots left!


In-to-me-see; 2 great classes coming up!

man with a heart in hands on a white background

I love this way of remembering what intimacy is all about:  “in-to-me-see”! Whether you’re trying to figure out what you really want, who you are, or why you’re here on earth, or whether you’re trying to find the perfect partner, spouse, friend, or lover (or make the one you have more perfect!) ….there’s only one direction in which to look and that’s INWARD.

Yes, it’s an inside job every time. The best guidance comes from within. The perfect partner, spouse, friend or lover manifests because you’ve connected with those qualities and accepted the not-so-perfect within yourself first. As the poet Rumi wrote, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

I’ve put together two different classes that will help you with the inward journey of the heart.  Both of these classes are taking place soon, so don’t delay in registering!

If you like the idea of staying home and yet intimately connecting via telephone with your Higher Self in a small group, consider joining me in a Shamanic Journeying Tele-class on August 3 and Aug. 7. If you have to miss one of these nights, a recording of the class will be provided. You can even choose to attend just one, but in my opinion, the price of two is well worth it.  No shamanic experience is necessary – class 1 will teach you to journey and meet your own personal Spiritual Guide. All the details are here.

If you’re local to the Chicago area, there’s a one night class happening on August 10 in Deerfield, IL. It’s called INTUITIVE PATHWAYS FOR CLEAR SELF-GUIDANCE. Do you ever feel immobilized by or struggle with confusion, indecision, or anxiety? Well, if you’d like to learn some powerful secrets to giving yourself an amazing oracle card reading to tap into higher wisdom, come to this class! Giving yourself card readings builds confidence, points you in a direction, raises your vibration, activates your inner antenna, and develops your trust in your own intuition. No experience is necessary and various kinds of oracle cards will be provided for use. The early-bird price ends August 5 and space is limited, so register now!  All the details are here.

Hope to connect with you and shine a light on your inward journey!

Blessings, Paula

Exploring Vulnerability, Acceptance, and Connection with Shamanic Journeying:

NEW CLASS OFFERING NEXT WEEK!  Exploring Vulnerability, Acceptance, and Connection with Shamanic Journeying; A Two-part Tele-class on Wed., Aug. 3, from 7:30-9:30pm CST, and Sun., Aug. 7, 2016, from 7-9pm CST.

man with a heart in hands on a white backgroundIn the great poet Rumi’s words: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers that you have built within yourself against it.”

Do you long for the perfect lover, partner, friend, relative, or spouse who…

  • Sees the real you?
  • Loves you just as you are?
  • Is committed to the relationship’s growth?
  • Shares a profound heart connection?

If so, please join me via conference call for a shamanic journey experience, held in “sacred space”, to deeply explore any barriers to the kind of loving relationships you are seeking.

In this experiential 2-night course, you will receive direct, higher guidance and healing from your personal Spiritual Guide. We will be exploring through  shamanic journeying, meditation, and discussion how self-awareness, self-acceptance and vulnerability are doors to establishing relationships filled with authenticity and intimate connection.

Learn to shamanic journey from the convenience and privacy of your home. Others have found group tele-conferencing to be a powerful and effective way to support and amplify your own unique experience of journeying!  You can read some feedback below.

You may choose to attend one or both class nights – However, if you have no experience with shamanic journeying, please register for Class 1 and/or both nights. If you register in advance for both, there is a discount. If you miss either class, you will receive the recording of that class you’ve missed so that you can journey on your own.

Class 1: Wednesday, August 3, 7:30 – 9:30 pm Central Time, cost $25

Class 2: Sunday, August 7, 7pm-9pm Central Time, cost $25

Or:   Both classes paid in advance for $45 total

Class 1: During this first class, you will meet your personal Spiritual Guide and have an opportunity to explore areas of lack of awareness and fear that may have been unconsciously sabotaging the happiness of your relationships. You will look at childhood wounds that might be contributing to reactions that push partners away or build energetic protection around your heart. You’ll ask your Spiritual Guide to show you karmic (past-life) influences or ancestral conditioning contributing to relationship patterns. With higher spiritual guidance and group energetic support, unexpected insights might be revealed and shifts may occur.

Class 2: During the second night, we’ll create space for a profound inner journey to help you move into greater self-acceptance and vulnerability. When you practice unconditional self-acceptance, you attract more unconditional love into your life. With increased trust and connection to inner guidance, you are able to become more emotionally honest, resilient, courageous, and vulnerable with others in your life….and in return, others may feel greater freedom for acceptance, safety, and vulnerability with you.

Join me as we create a safe, open, and accepting field of love through shamanic journeying and meditation to explore how you can be the lover, partner, friend, relative, or spouse that your spirit longs to be, and to have the meaningful relationships you long to have.

Facilitated by Paula Rosenfeld, author, shamanic healer, Oneness Trainer, clairvoyant reader, and spiritual coach, with over 20 years experience holding sacred space for shamanic journeying.

To register contact:; or 773-791-8425

Credit cards accepted. Conferencing capability using Most people have free, unlimited calling with this service, but long-distance rates may apply, depending on your own carrier and plan. Contact Paula with any questions.

FEEDBACK from previous shamanic tele-class participants:

“I LOVED the tele-class format. One reason I loved it was because of convenience (no commute, doing the class in my own home… and not having to drive 30 minutes home, etc.). I also found I felt very deeply connected with the other participants, so I didn’t long for an opportunity to meet in person. Also, with the shamanic journeys, I felt much more comfortable letting go, releasing, and being with whatever showed up because I didn’t have an “audience” and because I was in my own safe space. I actually think I would have a really hard time journeying in person with a group of people (or at least a much harder time). “                                              -S.B., Chicago area

“I think the class exceeded my expectations. As I’m coming to learn, when I explore my spirituality I often get different outcomes than I expected. Not only did I grow spiritually, I learned so much more about myself and my truth than I anticipated. Most of what I learned was a surprise but in retrospect I can see why I’m being guided this way.”                                         -J.S., Minnesota

 “I am so thankful that I was able to participate in this special class. I feel like I have established a foundation for daily meditation and have become more self-aware of my self-limiting beliefs.  Class was also a great reminder that I am not alone in this physical journey.  I am grateful for the seeds that have been planted and I am excited for the continued growth ahead!”                     -I.M., Chicago area

Hmm…what should I do?

OracleClassFlyerimageEver struggle with what direction to take or what choice to make in your day-to-day life? I know that I sure do from time to time!

Sometimes when we want clear guidance desperately, the hardest thing is not to have mental interference in intuiting what’s best for us. We don’t want to be listening just to the mind at times like this…we want to be listening to our heart too.  Heart wisdom is the best kind of wisdom there is. The heart knows what it knows. The heart doesn’t waver in its knowing, but the mind loves to step in and present all the options.

The mind can take you on a looping journey through the ins and outs, the pros and cons….the safest route, the most predictable result, the answer that will preserve your dignity, pride, self-righteousness, and the protection of your vulnerability till death do you and your ego part!

The mind is a fantastic tool, don’t get me wrong…but when the mind serves the ego instead of the heart, then the higher wisdom you seek can be blocked.

At times like this, I tune inward. I sit with my question. I feel into it. I listen to my body. I play with a little muscle testing.  If I want a quick and easy way to connect in to a much greater and more complex network of wisdom than my ego/mind can afford, I’ll also pull an oracle card, or several cards.

I have a number of different oracle decks, including the traditional tarot deck, the Runes,  and the shamanic medicine cards, among others. I love them all. Each deck offers a slightly different perspective, but all of them offer a much more global, wiser, and universal, birds-eye view of life on this planet as a spiritual being having a human experience.

Being lifted above the minutia of mental details can be a real gift of sanity. Even if I’m resisting the message of a card that I picked, I usually sense its rightness. If that happens, I remind myself that it’s okay to feel resistance…and that practicing “staying with” one’s resistance is an extremely worthy spiritual endeavor as well. In fact, it’s a powerful doorway to actually moving into effortless action.

To “stay with” is to just “see.”  Just see your resistance and where your mind takes you at times like that…see the stories the ego weaves of injustice done to you.  See the emotions that arise and stay with those emotions. Eventually, one can move through resistance if the desire is there.  Not everyone wants to move through it, though, and that, too, is okay.

If you’re in the Chicago area, and would like a powerful evening of playing with oracle cards and tapping into inner wisdom, please join us on Wed., August 10, from 6:30-9:30pm in Deerfield, IL. I’m teaching this class with my friend and colleague Savita Jachim. The fee is $54 if you register by August 5, so don’t delay! It will be fun and give you some great tools to use next time it’s 2am and you can’t sleep because you’re mulling over a choice. Click here for the flyer with all the info!

One other little reminder – if you need some guidance and can’t get clear on your own, I’m always available to give you an Akashic Record or clairvoyant reading! A little bit of help can go a long way.

Many blessings,




The unmistakable air of springtime is here in Chicago and that means it’s the launch of growing season, the time of “green’s” return. We love spring for its effect on our sensory experiences. Winter’s sleepy introversion has a new, emerging alertness, a little more bounce it its step. Hearts perk up to an unseen signal, an expansion of the light, known through the joyful sight and smell of budding flowers, warmer breezes, and fresh grass. Something stirs. A fundamental, internal energy beckons us to renewal and rebirth. We are animals, after all, and we belong to the natural world of rhythms and cycles, of death and rebirth. In spring and summer, our souls are free to guzzle heartily of the luscious, physical aliveness of earthly life.

Perhaps your soul is feeling this call. Perhaps a thirst for new frontiers of emotional growth is shyly expressing or perhaps you’re urgently demanding it from the heavens now. Have you been slogging through spiritual growth all winter? Are you ready for a bright burst of expansion? Well, if so, I’ve got something really great to bring to your attention. Of course, the the choice is always yours to take it nice and slow…or to say, “bring it on, baby!”

Either way, emotional/spiritual growth is yours for the asking, and it’s about pushing beyond the timeworn boundaries of fear, and moving into the sometimes-uncomfortable terrain of what is yet to be discovered. But let me tell you, fresh from the emotional trenches myself these past twelve months, I can assure you that nothing is sweeter than the freedom that emotional and spiritual growth brings…the internal freedom to be all that you can, during your time here on earth. For we can stay internally locked up within our wounds, fears, and perceived limitations, or we can awaken to the gifts of awareness, courage, vulnerability, expanded consciousness, authenticity, and, of course, love – as we’ve never before known love. We can experience life, as we’ve never before known life. I’m talking miraculous transformation. It doesn’t come in a second, but believe me, it’s a coming if you want it!

I’d just like to take a moment to share some personal experiences this year of challenges and, yes, miracles in my life – in hopes of inspiring you to take the risks that inner growth invites. Today is the one-year anniversary of a major surgery I underwent, after receiving a uterine cancer diagnosis. I had a full hysterectomy that day, one year ago, and my oncologist reported to me, as I returned to consciousness right after surgery, that they saw no evidence of cancer. The organs removed were then thoroughly biopsied after the surgery, and my doctor actually reversed the original diagnosis of cancer, reporting only some pre-cancerous changes.

As spring turned to summer last year, I spent a long recovery time both in huge gratitude and also in deep ambivalence, confusion, and even anger about why I had to go through that surgery. Why did I have to lose my precious organs? I had a tremendous miracle – no cancer – but resisted acceptance and forgiveness.

The month after surgery, my book The Oneness Blessing was published and got fabulous reviews. I was struggling internally with all the resistance to changes. Four months after surgery, I went through an arduous move from one apartment to another. In the midst of that, my mother had a scary health crisis that lingered for several months. This was followed by the sudden death of my beloved kitty, Ozzie, which was quickly followed by the need to move once again – for my new apartment apparently had some highly toxic substance in it; I unexpectedly developed asthma and other weird symptoms, after moving in. So I found a new apartment and moved last month for the second time within one year. I have no symptoms or signs of asthma now, by the way!

The huge changes this year brought out great strength, flexibility, acceptance, resourcefulness, and courage in me that I didn’t think possible. Without deep faith, sacred grace, the Oneness Phenomenon community, and the emotional support of friends and family, I couldn’t have firmly re-anchored my life in dedication to growth, consciousness expansion, and, experienced, as I look back on it today, a true rebirth into a much greater capacity for love, connection, and authenticity. In retrospect, and in gratitude today, I see that there was a lot of illusory “control” I needed to give up in order to step into the needed growth.

I wouldn’t wish the intensity of all these experiences for you, but the world, overall, is having extremely intense times. It’s both the best of times and the worst of times, as it’s said. However, we are changing consciousness now by a massive, global awakening to growth, healing, and expansion – at the same time that violence rages on, and people and the environment are exploited.

Growth is an internal job. As you’ve heard over and over, we change the world by changing ourselves. It starts first internally. We work on those familiar issues of forgiveness, trust, honesty, and awareness. We see the moldy illusions that our minds cling to. We see our games, our self-floggings, our judgments, our trying to control and blame others or other things, so that we can feel safe. We see that our true safety and growth lay only in letting go of all that is untrue. It’s important to set a strong intention to grow – to be the solution, to be that person who stands in truth, inner freedom, and awakening.

SO SAVE THE DATE OF FRIDAY NIGHT, MAY 20 – SUNDAY AFTERNOON, MAY 22, FOR AN EVENT CALLED “THE PHENOMENON AND THE GIFT”. This weekend course will truly rock your status quo with growth! It is a course that is broadcast live (simultaneously in 7 U.S. cities) from the Oneness Temple in India, taught by highly awakened Oneness Guides, and held only in Chicago (yay!), Denver, Austin, Phoenix, Santa Fe, Kansas City, and Boise.

A huge benefit from this course is that you will be initiated to give the Golden Orb Deeksha – a powerful new form of Oneness Blessing from the heart. There are no prerequisites. Giving it to others will change you, and others will receive its many blessings.

I’m helping to plan the Chicago event. At this moment, we’re still working on securing the venue. Exact location in the Chicago area and pricing will soon be announced, so stay tuned. I took this same course in Toronto recently and found that it’s like packing a week of studying at Oneness University in India into one weekend much, much closer to home! I can’t urge you enough to consider attending.

How did I experience personal growth from this course? Today, I’m feeling lighter, brighter, happier, clearer, more authentic, more vulnerable, more loving, and more self-aware. I am so deeply grateful, so moved, so in awe of the miracle that life is. I feel motivated, grounded, and present to life. In short, I am feeling more fully alive. I’m still a work in progress, but I feel able to look back on these challenging months and humbly say, “thank you” to my Highest Sacred Self that engineered this miraculous growth. How blessed am I.

Wishing for you that you receive all the gifts of life and love – and please consider taking this course! Spread the word! More details about the course logistics to follow. –  with love, Paula


A Vulnerable Heart

Along the path of awakening, hearts begins to bloom, like flowers in spring, revealing exquisite and delicate beauty. Many of us notice that the faces of our community members on this path for a while often seem to glow and look softer. Some people receiving Deeksha notice they’ve started becoming more sensitive to the energy and feelings of others and perhaps more sensitive, in general, to beauty, art, music, and love’s presence.

Yet, many of us may experience some trepidation, too, as the heart flowers and buried patterns of defensiveness are exposed before being released; for after living for years in the often harsh, aggressive, dog-eat-dog world, we are now unlearning guardedness and armoring as we move deeper into experiencing a fresh state of increasing vulnerability. We may have to muddle through a little awkwardness as we develop new ways of showing up authentically with others.

Awareness of the heart’s true vulnerability becomes evident as we strive to live in inner integrity with our Divine. With increasing self-awareness comes increasing perception of our conditioned defense mechanisms used to avoid uncomfortable feelings such as anger, anxiety, jealousy, competitiveness or fear. We see that we’ve been running and hiding from vulnerability for years.

With awakening, we become intimate within and honest about what’s going on inside. Through practicing inner integrity, we find that self-acceptance eventually reigns and trying to be anything other than who we are is clearly futile. We see that the old, worn defenses are, at best, laughable, or at worst, useless. We become transparent to others. In moving through this process, we may need to navigate reconciliation between vulnerability and feeling safe; for this shift, we might humbly ask for the blessings of Grace to assist.

In my heart, I know there is no other way to move through the periodic cycles of discomfort and awkwardness with my unfolding vulnerability other than by staying with the “what is” and calling on my Divine. These days, I’m often finding myself outside what used to be a relative “comfort zone.” Now, it’s clear that any alleged comfort was really just unconsciousness…. and with expanding consciousness, the only direction to move is forward with Divine help.

Thankfully, there’s also a continual building of trust happening now; It’s a trust that staying with any anxiety arising from feeling “out of control” will eventually give rise to growth and transformation – and happily sooner, more often than later.

There’s actually been some humor in re-experiencing the occasional ghosts of my youth – feeling like an awkward teenager on her first date again or revisiting that chubby, painfully shy, first grader at a new school. When the force of some of those buried, old feelings has spontaneously erupted, at times, there’s often been a desire to escape them, just as I did as that teen. But there really is no escape – there’s only delay. I’ve clearly learned now that popcorn and chocolate can only be temporary “fixes”! As resistance abates and emotions release, the relief from running and hiding can be like settling into a deliciously comfortable bed at the end of a long day. “What was all the fuss about?’ I wonder, as difficult feelings evaporate into peace. It’s another small surrender into the loving arms of self-acceptance, vulnerability, and authenticity.

Like a newly born baby, there’s a sacred essence in all of us that is constantly showing the many faces of love: unguarded, openhearted, joyous, scared, and in pain at times. This innocent child is lit by the radiance of spirit; acting from instinct, and easily prone to crying, joyous laughter or deep sadness. Get to know and love your inner innocence again – yes, it entails vulnerability – but  you might recover that long-lost sense of safety and trust in the essentially miraculous goodness that is life. You might come to cherish the extraordinary sensitivity and pure aliveness that you’ve spent so much time fleeing.

For me, nothing has come near to pushing me out of my comfort zone like writing a book and having it published for the first time. Having been forced to face buried feelings of “not enough-ness” (not good enough, not worthy enough, not clever enough, etc., etc.) has been tremendously liberating. But now I feel quite transparent to a much larger sphere than ever before – and with that exposure comes new rounds of vulnerability to experience and grow through. It’s a never-ending process if you choose it to be so….and the rewards are huge: more love in your life and more being loved for all that you are! What an adventure!

If I may support you on your journey of greater authenticity, more intimate relationships, and living with purpose, it would be a great honor to be of help. Please check out the services I offer. You will also find more radio interviews posted on my website here.

bright picture of adorable baby boy over white
just be authentically you!