From EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

Why the Goofy Hearts?

Valentine's DayDid you ever put your heart “out there” and get what feels like a big, empty, no-response from the universe?  I mean, a big, invalidating, nothing.  That’s happened to me in my dating life, in my creative efforts, in friendships at times, and in my career.  When we take the risk of opening ourselves, to be seen, and to be vulnerable, we risk feeling hurt when the offerings of our open heart are not appreciated or returned.  When this happens, our inner defense patterns and heart walls can get thicker. This process can start in childhood, when our inner-kid’s natural joy, exuberance, and loving nature got stomped on, perhaps by stressed-out, dysfunctional, or shut-down parents, bullying kids, or by the educational system itself. We learn to keep our guard up, to be like our peers, and to behave as parents, teachers, and other authority figures expect.

In dating, if we open up to another person, and they don’t match that emotional availability, there is a tendency for us to retreat to a place of isolation, resignation, or hopelessness. We take another person’s non-interest way too personally most of the time.  Truth is, it always has nothing to do with us.  But our vulnerable heart is like a friendly puppy – it just wants to love and be loved – and our ego-mind is like a soldier – it’s job is to preserve and protect us from harm.  Thus, heart and mind become bogged down waging a battle of inner-conflict, with an unconscious strategy operating to prevent future pain.

Staying in our comfort zones usually brings little gain.  To risk vulnerability and risk failing, is also to invite in huge success and greater happiness.  To be blunt, you usually have to take risks to achieve greater fulfillment and success (whatever success means to you).  Keeping our lives risk-free and playing it safe only serves to keep that status-quo predictability going….and for many of us self-growth warriors, the status quo is not where our spirit likes to hang out.  The spirit is always trying to move forward – to greater expansion.  For our true essence is a part of the universe, and as science has shown, we live in an ever-expanding universe.  The way of the Universal Spirit is one of constant change and expansion.  That expansive drive and ever-changing nature lives within our heart.

As you’ve been reading here, my friend and colleague Sue De Santo and I are giving a course called “Dating, Sexuality & Empowerment.” See all the details HERE.  It’s designed to help women break through those heart-protecting patterns and step more fully into their authentic, radiant, self-empowerment. When we break through the mental control that’s trying to preserve our safety with old, self-protecting patterns, our inner light comes pouring through. 

Having inner freedom endows us with an attractive force of love and joy that beams out to the world. We begin to flow with that ever-expanding universe within and without us….life brings to our door exactly what we need to keep circulating that joy and love of our spirit.  We attract the right people (including life partners), opportunities, and conditions to better serve the world and circulate our gifts, talents, and unique contributions.  

To promote this course, Sue and I made a video to put on facebook and youtube.  That’s what practitioners like us do to market our services.  Just part of the job.  But don’t think that it is ever easy for people like us to wear our hearts on our sleeves when we write blogs, when we promote our courses, sessions, and all the offerings we do.  Most of us who do this have had zero training in marketing – though we’ve had lots of training in the services we offer, but still this type of work seems to require continual self-promotion to spread the word.  That self-promotion is risky.  Speaking for myself, my particular shamanic and holistic coaching offerings are not mainstream, to say the least.  The older and wiser I get about the value of my contributions, however, the more I’m willing to be authentic, vulnerable, and open about what I do — in a world that is generally hugely resistant to change, complementary healing techniques, and vulnerability. 

So Sue and I made this video. Please check it out HERE and see the goofy hearts in it. At first we accidentally put a hearts filter on the video, chuckled about it, and then kept it on, with an intent to attract attention and lighten up this topic we’re teaching. To my surprise, it’s been received with kind of a glaringly silent, non-response on facebook.

I’m used to putting up simple photos of trees and getting a bunch of “likes” or “loves”…but I’m getting very little response with this video. The silence is deafening, as they say.  Perhaps some people are offended, don’t get it, or whatever.  But to me, it’s pretty darn goofy and a bit awkward to watch, and I thought I’d at least get a laughing emoji out of someone. However, I’m not taking it personally.  In fact, I’m laughing at myself each time I view it and see my own awkwardness and those goofy hearts. It’s my coyote medicine, for sure. Coyote brings me the gift of finding humor in my own silly antics.

Actually, coyote medicine aside, this course touches a powerful topic with very timely resonance to the awakening of the Divine Feminine now.  I’m absolutely in awe of the fantastic rise of women’s sense of spiritual empowerment now and I’ve always been eager to contribute to that awakening. From women suffragettes to feminists, to the path of the spiritual warriors among us, including the “me too’s”, this is deeply exciting and hopeful phenomenon to observe.

One thing I’ve learned along the way is to carry a certain “lightness of being” as a valued tool on the spiritual path.  If you can find a little loving humor about this mysterious drama of being human, it’s a very healthy thing.  And we know the power of levity at Halloween time, when we dress up to laugh at scary ghosts (the omnipresent reality of death), threatening pirates, ominous witches, and the super-heroes who fight the evils of crime, etc.  Or when we try to dress up like a 1940’s movie star, like I did in 2009.  I loved having fun with a bit of that Hollywood glam, probably because I needed to let that glam shadow side of me out to shine!  

Halloween2009

 

If you can laugh at yourself, and at the self-protective patterns devised by the ego, then you are not identified with that ego.  You are not your mind!  You are not that hurt, scared child who wasn’t seen, wasn’t appreciated, or somehow needed to be “controlled” by stressed out authority figures. To find humor in what is awful, sad, and downright life-invalidating, is to be free of those darker inner forces that keep us feeling frustrated, stuck, and less than miraculous. To be free inwardly is to experience the true bliss that is our essence, no matter how others treat us.  No matter whether they like our videos or not!

I’ll let you in on a little secret:  teachers always teach what they need to learn for themselves…and they usually get their lessons especially when they are preparing for a course. Being a good teacher, healer, coach, or therapist is to be a constant student of life and love. A good teacher is a model for that which they teach. I hope I can do that — I want to inspire you to live ever-expandingly beyond the status quo of your comfort zones in order to be a thriving, joyful human being.  We are not our fears, our resignation, our need to please, or our self-protection.  We are love and Light, eternally.

Looking for love?

photodune-6777212-paradigm-shift--xsAre you wondering why I am presenting a dating, sexuality and empowerment workshop now? The reason isn’t just the “me too” movement…though the timing with that is quite resonant. Having had my own, personal share of inappropriate, offensive, and abusive male harassment, like so many other women, I’ve had to claim my empowerment in a big way after years of suppression, inner conflict, and silence.

I had to wake up first, and realize that I had a voice and a right to boundaries, and that I needed to take a stand on behalf of my inner outrage and that of others who have suffered. In fact, I had to publicly call out a certain teacher I had many years ago, and when I did, about 25 other women came forward with stories of similar inappropriate experiences with him. But the details of that segment of my life is content for a future blog perhaps.

Right now, I want you to know that awakening extends into every corner of our lives, especially in relationships and in self-love. It’s never too late to emerge from the conditioned patterns we were taught by society…or the beliefs about relationships and sexuality, solidified in our childhood and repeating endlessly in later years. It’s those false, limiting beliefs and the subtle, but damaging conditioning that stifles our joy, and keeps us chasing after happiness in the form of external relationships. The truth is, relationships are really an inside job.  Yup, it truly is all about you! Since you can’t change others, the good news is that you can shift your own life, from the inside out.

Through years of dating, sexuality, and relationship turmoil, I learned the hard way that until my sense of worth, inner-knowing, and self-acceptance shifted, I would keep attracting the same type of unfulfilling relationships into my life. All my dating and relationship experiences have revolved around the dance of intimacy and lack there of.  What I took to be the “unavailability” of the other person, was really my own unavailability to myself, due to the cloudy perceptions that entangled my mind. These other people have mirrored to me, my own mental, emotional, and energetic barriers to love.

So as you can tell, this subject matter is close to my heart — and I’m hoping that it will also be calling some of you single women out there too.  I’m collaborating with a very experienced therapist and relationship coach, Sue De Santo, to facilitate both an in-person workshop here in Chicago, and a virtual class series (for out-of-towners and staying cozy-at-home in-towners). This exciting workshop partners energy work with energy psychology to loosen the grip of limiting patterns in order to expand your consciousness around relationships, dating, and sexuality — and change your life.  Do the inner work now and then let 2018 usher in that which your heart desires!

Here are the details and please spread the word if this post finds you happily partnered or married…or if you’re a man (this workshop is for women)….

                 DATING, SEXUALITY & EMPOWERMENT; Sexy is an inside job

         In-person workshop Sunday, Nov. 12, 1:00-3:30pm at Moving Life Studio, 5115 N. Ravenswood, 2nd Floor, Chicago, IL 60640  Fee: $49

AND/OR….

         Virtual, 4-Part Class Series (by teleconference) on Thursdays., Nov. 30, Dec. 7, 14, and 21.   Fee:  $219  *If you miss a class, you’ll have a recording of it.

****TAKE ONE OR BOTH CLASS OPTIONS!  EARLY REGISTRATION FOR ENTIRE PACKAGE (In-person and virtual series) – only $219 (plus a free gift) until Nov. 10, and then $249 after Nov. 10.

These classes are for you if:

  • You are a single woman, any sexual orientation welcome
  • You want the empowerment, freedom, and support to create what you need in a loving, committed relationship.
  • You want to break through old patterns using powerful energy tools and processes, including meditation, guided imagery, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).
  • You want to ignite and energetically attract authentic love from within.

Topics for the Virtual 4-Part Class Series are:

  • Week 1 — The magnetic pull of unavailability and how to break through
  • Week 2 — How the kid in you sabotages romance
  • Week 3 — Learning to receive pleasure
  • Week 4 –- Flirting from the inside out

Facilitators:  Paula Rosenfeld, Shamanic practitioner, Holistic Health Coach, and author, www.fromtheheartcenter.com.

Sue De Santo, LCSW, Clinical Social Worker and Relationship Coach. www.suedesanto.com. 

FOR REGISTRATION and MORE INFO, CONTACT PAULA at 773-791-8425  or paula@fromtheheartcenter.com.

 

 

DATING ROLLBACK!

FreeMeditationLogo    What if you could turn back the clock in your dating and relationship life – in order to be free of the years of disappointments, heartbreaks, projections and fears?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have had the wisdom in your younger years that you’re acquiring now in your current awakening self?  Maybe you’ve heard the advice about “letting go” and being “open,” but are you able to practice these things? Or is a part of you shut down or disillusioned about dating and the desire for a fulfilling relationship?

I don’t know if it’s possible to recapture our innocence, but I strongly believe we can regain our trust. How powerful to be able to trust yourself, and to know that some kind of power greater than yourself has your back – and is moving you towards your good, if only you’d allow that!

Would you like to be able to offer another person your authentic vulnerability, trust, natural sexiness, and commitment—the authentic you that existed before you started protecting your heart and disregarding the higher wisdom of your spirit?  What a gift it is to stand in your own truth – to feel empowered, self-confident, and deeply attractive in your openness to love! How freeing would it be to let go of needing a relationship to feel whole? Wouldn’t it be a relief to stop stressing about relationships and simply relax into energetically drawing the perfect relationship to you, in the right time and place?

The problem with having traumatic dating and relationship experiences in the past, is that our egos develop compensating behavior to protect us from possible future harm.  Our perceptions become colored by past hurts.  We hang on to the hurts and armor our hearts to feel safe.  We come up with excuses (too busy, too tired, too stressed) to open up to new encounters and unknown experiences.  We fall into ruts of overthinking and subtle avoidance.  We’d rather just deal with the devil we know…for without venturing outside our comfort zone, we may just attract the same old type of relationship with a different face, but a frustrating familiarity.

You can break through this self-sabotage. Dating and sexuality is an inside job;  If you are a single woman and are looking for group support to break through your internal barriers to love – then I have some upcoming classes for you!  (Men and committed women, sorry!  There will be other forthcoming classes for you in the future…)

I will be teaching an experiential in-person workshop, along with a virtual course series, with my collaborator in empowerment, Sue DeSanto, LCSW, a Clinical Social Worker and Relationship Coach. We are going to be using energy tools to actually shift your vibration and bring you back to center…to rollback patterns so you can truly ignite love from within.  You can take the in-person workshop if you’re in the Chicagoland area or just take the virtual course if you’re outside the area.  I especially encourage you to sign up for both, if possible!

What’s included in these classes:

Meditation, guided imagery, holistic coaching, Deeksha, essential oils, and the powerful tool of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, also called Tapping).  Together, Sue and I have over 44 years of experience.  Add that to the power of working in a group on shared goals!  Group support exponentially affects positive outcomes.  Nothing moves mountains like feeling supported, and Sue and I will be joyfully bringing our experience and spiritual gifts to support your transformation.

So if you want to start the new year empowered, sexy, and clear from the inside out, then please join us.  There is a big early-registration discount of $30, and a free gift, if you sign up for the entire package – the in-person workshop plus the 4-week virtual series.  Here is a summary of the class events and pricing, along with the registration links:

Dating, Sexuality & Empowerment; Sexy is an inside job

In-person Workshop, Sunday, Nov. 12, 1:00 – 3:30pm at Moving Life Studio, 5115 N. Ravenswood, 2nd floor, Chicago, IL.

4-Part Virtual Course via teleconference:  Thursdays, 7:00-9:00pm, Nov. 30, Dec. 7, 14, 21

Pricing:

In-person workshop alone: $49

Virtual series alone:  $219

Whole Package (In-person plus Virtual Series):  $249 or….

Early-bird Registration by Monday, Nov.10:  $219 for entire package, including the in-person and 4-part  virtual course, plus a free gift!

 

One day workshop registration link:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-sexuality-empowerment-sexy-is-an-inside-job-tickets-39029102095?aff=utm_source%3Deb_email%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_campaign%3Dnew_event_email&utm_term=eventurl_text

 

4-Part Virtual Series registration link and package option with early registration discount:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-sexuality-empowerment-sexy-is-an-inside-job-in-person-workshop-plus-virtual-4-week-course-tickets-39026311749?aff=utm_source%3Deb_email%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_campaign%3Dnew_event_email&utm_term=eventurl_text

 

****NOTE:  IF YOU CAN’T ATTEND ANY OF THE 4 VIRTUAL CLASSES, NO WORRIES – YOU WILL BE GIVEN A RECORDING.

If you have any questions about the offerings or about registration, please contact me at

paula@fromtheheartcenter.com  or  call 773-791-8425

and click HERE for more workshop details and facilitator bios!

 

 

 

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