From Ghosts

Why the Goofy Hearts?

Valentine's DayDid you ever put your heart “out there” and get what feels like a big, empty, no-response from the universe?  I mean, a big, invalidating, nothing.  That’s happened to me in my dating life, in my creative efforts, in friendships at times, and in my career.  When we take the risk of opening ourselves, to be seen, and to be vulnerable, we risk feeling hurt when the offerings of our open heart are not appreciated or returned.  When this happens, our inner defense patterns and heart walls can get thicker. This process can start in childhood, when our inner-kid’s natural joy, exuberance, and loving nature got stomped on, perhaps by stressed-out, dysfunctional, or shut-down parents, bullying kids, or by the educational system itself. We learn to keep our guard up, to be like our peers, and to behave as parents, teachers, and other authority figures expect.

In dating, if we open up to another person, and they don’t match that emotional availability, there is a tendency for us to retreat to a place of isolation, resignation, or hopelessness. We take another person’s non-interest way too personally most of the time.  Truth is, it always has nothing to do with us.  But our vulnerable heart is like a friendly puppy – it just wants to love and be loved – and our ego-mind is like a soldier – it’s job is to preserve and protect us from harm.  Thus, heart and mind become bogged down waging a battle of inner-conflict, with an unconscious strategy operating to prevent future pain.

Staying in our comfort zones usually brings little gain.  To risk vulnerability and risk failing, is also to invite in huge success and greater happiness.  To be blunt, you usually have to take risks to achieve greater fulfillment and success (whatever success means to you).  Keeping our lives risk-free and playing it safe only serves to keep that status-quo predictability going….and for many of us self-growth warriors, the status quo is not where our spirit likes to hang out.  The spirit is always trying to move forward – to greater expansion.  For our true essence is a part of the universe, and as science has shown, we live in an ever-expanding universe.  The way of the Universal Spirit is one of constant change and expansion.  That expansive drive and ever-changing nature lives within our heart.

As you’ve been reading here, my friend and colleague Sue De Santo and I are giving a course called “Dating, Sexuality & Empowerment.” See all the details HERE.  It’s designed to help women break through those heart-protecting patterns and step more fully into their authentic, radiant, self-empowerment. When we break through the mental control that’s trying to preserve our safety with old, self-protecting patterns, our inner light comes pouring through. 

Having inner freedom endows us with an attractive force of love and joy that beams out to the world. We begin to flow with that ever-expanding universe within and without us….life brings to our door exactly what we need to keep circulating that joy and love of our spirit.  We attract the right people (including life partners), opportunities, and conditions to better serve the world and circulate our gifts, talents, and unique contributions.  

To promote this course, Sue and I made a video to put on facebook and youtube.  That’s what practitioners like us do to market our services.  Just part of the job.  But don’t think that it is ever easy for people like us to wear our hearts on our sleeves when we write blogs, when we promote our courses, sessions, and all the offerings we do.  Most of us who do this have had zero training in marketing – though we’ve had lots of training in the services we offer, but still this type of work seems to require continual self-promotion to spread the word.  That self-promotion is risky.  Speaking for myself, my particular shamanic and holistic coaching offerings are not mainstream, to say the least.  The older and wiser I get about the value of my contributions, however, the more I’m willing to be authentic, vulnerable, and open about what I do — in a world that is generally hugely resistant to change, complementary healing techniques, and vulnerability. 

So Sue and I made this video. Please check it out HERE and see the goofy hearts in it. At first we accidentally put a hearts filter on the video, chuckled about it, and then kept it on, with an intent to attract attention and lighten up this topic we’re teaching. To my surprise, it’s been received with kind of a glaringly silent, non-response on facebook.

I’m used to putting up simple photos of trees and getting a bunch of “likes” or “loves”…but I’m getting very little response with this video. The silence is deafening, as they say.  Perhaps some people are offended, don’t get it, or whatever.  But to me, it’s pretty darn goofy and a bit awkward to watch, and I thought I’d at least get a laughing emoji out of someone. However, I’m not taking it personally.  In fact, I’m laughing at myself each time I view it and see my own awkwardness and those goofy hearts. It’s my coyote medicine, for sure. Coyote brings me the gift of finding humor in my own silly antics.

Actually, coyote medicine aside, this course touches a powerful topic with very timely resonance to the awakening of the Divine Feminine now.  I’m absolutely in awe of the fantastic rise of women’s sense of spiritual empowerment now and I’ve always been eager to contribute to that awakening. From women suffragettes to feminists, to the path of the spiritual warriors among us, including the “me too’s”, this is deeply exciting and hopeful phenomenon to observe.

One thing I’ve learned along the way is to carry a certain “lightness of being” as a valued tool on the spiritual path.  If you can find a little loving humor about this mysterious drama of being human, it’s a very healthy thing.  And we know the power of levity at Halloween time, when we dress up to laugh at scary ghosts (the omnipresent reality of death), threatening pirates, ominous witches, and the super-heroes who fight the evils of crime, etc.  Or when we try to dress up like a 1940’s movie star, like I did in 2009.  I loved having fun with a bit of that Hollywood glam, probably because I needed to let that glam shadow side of me out to shine!  

Halloween2009

 

If you can laugh at yourself, and at the self-protective patterns devised by the ego, then you are not identified with that ego.  You are not your mind!  You are not that hurt, scared child who wasn’t seen, wasn’t appreciated, or somehow needed to be “controlled” by stressed out authority figures. To find humor in what is awful, sad, and downright life-invalidating, is to be free of those darker inner forces that keep us feeling frustrated, stuck, and less than miraculous. To be free inwardly is to experience the true bliss that is our essence, no matter how others treat us.  No matter whether they like our videos or not!

I’ll let you in on a little secret:  teachers always teach what they need to learn for themselves…and they usually get their lessons especially when they are preparing for a course. Being a good teacher, healer, coach, or therapist is to be a constant student of life and love. A good teacher is a model for that which they teach. I hope I can do that — I want to inspire you to live ever-expandingly beyond the status quo of your comfort zones in order to be a thriving, joyful human being.  We are not our fears, our resignation, our need to please, or our self-protection.  We are love and Light, eternally.

Boo! Halloween Channeling

Halloween design with haunted house

Are you frightened my darling? On top of it being Halloween, a time when the veils between dimensions are most thin, the world seems to be spinning out of control. Along with rampant Cubs frenzy, my neighborhood is littered with skulls arising from still green lawns, bed-sheet ghosts floating above RIP gravestones, and other charmingly deathly décor. But none of these things are as scary to me as my desk stacked high with unfiled papers, reams of never-to-be read emails piling up in my mailbox, dishes in the sink, and the constant ding of texts claiming residence on my cell phone.

I know the speedy intensity of these times is both alarming to some and to others, incredibly exciting and stimulating. There seems to be a regular state of chaos flowing through torrents of unexpected events happening quite regularly most days: Airplane disasters, news-breaking crimes, record-setting storms, relentless Wiki-leaks and cyber-attacks, car, phone and toy recalls, and other endlessly alarming global events. There are also incredible stories of miraculous healings, poignant tales of inspiration and hope, scientific discoveries, and breakthroughs in medicine. There are also so many of us now talking about peace and Oneness, which is thrilling!

Through the media, we hear it all. Are you overwhelmed? Do you find the “unexpected” nerve-wracking or does it excite or energize you? I confess I’ve been in the overwhelmed camp lately.

I’ve been watching the World Series on television. I don’t usually watch t.v. much, but as a Chicagoan, I’ve been feeling anxious for days for the Cubs, and glued to the television each game night…and I’m not typically a sports fan! Still, I’ve been choosing to watch the games, rather than attend to the slew of other things in my home that need doing. There is something incredibly addictive and distracting about the anxiety-inducing World Series and the general chaos going on in the background (called LIFE). Even with an impressive meditation routine (if I must say so myself), and an equally diligent exercise and healthy-eating regimen, I am feeling both hyped up and tired at the same time.

This is coming along with the tsunami of presidential and political campaigns and upcoming election day – so nerve-wracking. Observing the constant tension in myself and those in my sphere fills me with compassion for humanity’s vulnerability; for the speed and quantity of stimulation is so ramped up that many of us seem over-run by it. Lateness, snappish driving reactions, missed appointments, forgotten tasks, menopausal moments, little mistakes, drinking too much, eating too much, not sleeping enough…feeling tired; This is what I observe in people around me.

Are we supposed to be getting used to this intensity as the new normal? Is there really no going back to feeling calm, well-rested, organized, and innocently optimistic?

The other day, I was discussing with someone whether the upcoming winter might be colder than normal, as has been predicted. The woman said, you can look to a horse’s winter coat as a sign – a thicker coat means a colder winter ahead. Evidently, horses are able to  instinctively grow more hair. That’s how connected these beautiful creatures are. We are animals; I wondered what my body might subtly be communicating or if I could even hear or see its message amidst the loud clatter of society’s group mind nowadays.

What I know with certainty is that my body is craving orange vegetables; for I had a dream about sweet potatoes the other night and butternut squash the next! That was bizarre and exciting to me because it’s an easy message to decipher: eat more sweet potatoes and squash, which I’ve been doing with pleasure. Either that or the Great Pumpkin has invaded my dream life!

Unfortunately my body is actually communicating very audibly, now that I think about it, when I’m around too many people and too much traffic – which is most of the time. It’s grumbling irritably, “I can’t stand all the noise! I want to be alone!” This particularly high sensitivity lately, despite the usually balancing routines and patterns, alarms me, for being a hermit doesn’t fit my image of living in Oneness. So I asked one of my Spirit Guides, the Cosmic one, for some higher guidance. This is my Guide’s response and I’d like to share it in the event that it might speak to you as well:

“Get real and come down from the clouds. This is your world now. Put one foot in front of the other and slug through this soup of stimulation. It’s a great way to discern what, and who, is yours. You will bounce off what is not meant to be yours – whether people or things – and by letting go of your previous self-image, you’ll end up with a new you, at least the authentic ‘you’ of this moment. Yes, life is speedy now and you can’t keep up with all the change. But open up to it anyway. You’ve lost control of your email and you’ve lost control of your time – in fact, perhaps you’ve lost your very mind. Good for you!

It’s time to go with the flow and don’t judge it. Relax into the roller-coaster ride because, yes, there is no going back. It’s time to let go. All you truly have right now is this unique moment, so enjoy it to the fullest. See your fear of unpredictability. See what falls away. Go easy on yourself. Your life can’t be perfectly organized and efficient if you say you want to live fully. Enjoy your anxiety, your imperfections, and the miracles too – watch it all with humor and appreciation. Don’t resist the flow of life. Oh yes, and breath deeply.”

So it’s that again – breath deeply. Why do I forget that so often? I tend to hold my breath when anxious. Thank you Cosmic Guide; I needed the reminder. We’re all having a human experience … and this is what being human is like now. It’s intense, exciting, scary, and often unpredictable. It’s especially miraculous too!

So pardon me Cleveland, but ‘hey Chicago, what do you say, Cubs are gonna win today!” I’m a sports fan and I didn’t even know it. If that can change, what other miraculous possibilities does the future hold, I wonder! Hello Great Pumpkin, bring it!

 

She called me the “House Whisperer”

Halloween design with haunted house

“The House Whisperer” is what a client recently called me. She was feeling grateful that I’d helped her home to sell by assisting a “Ghost”  to the Light. I got a big chuckle from the term she used, and it prompted me to write a bit about a service I do that is not talked much about….but is often very needed. In the shamanic vernacular, it’s known as psychopomp – which refers to escorting the souls of deceased beings to the Light.

In this particular client’s case, I’ve known her from back in the day when I sold real estate while doing my healing work part-time. She and her husband were buyers who I had represented.

It took us only one or two house-hunting trips before we found the perfect home for them. I credit that to the spiritual forces working behind the scenes! They are still very happily living in that home, but have now inherited another house that’s been very difficult to close on. It sold (on paper) very quickly, but for puzzling reasons, it had been unable to close for the last four or five months. My client wondered if the deceased owner’s spirit was somehow blocking the closing from becoming scheduled.

Experiencing difficulties with the spirits of previous inhabitants is more common than you’d think. I’ve been doing psychopomp work for well over twenty years. Most of the time, I do it to help resolve issues and integrate losses in relationships that people have with deceased parents, relatives, friends, partners, and pets. When bonds are strong and emotions unresolved, whether the issue concerns a person, animal, or a home, a part of the deceased may stay “stuck” on the earth plane. This hinders the deceased from fully evolving, and can also show up as “stuckness” in health, wealth or happiness in those who are alive — and even manifest as “stuckness” in house sales.

Literally five minutes after my client left my office after doing the “House Whispering”, she phoned me. I thought she had forgotten something at my office; but it wasn’t that. She had called to tell me she had just gotten a call from her attorney that the house closing was finally scheduled. Success!

If you’d like to learn more about how freeing the spirits of deceased loved ones (or previous home or apartment dwellers) might make a difference in your own life and well being, please contact me at paula@fromtheheartcenter.com. I’ll write more about the significance of lifting deceased spirits in future blog posts.

I’ll just leave you with this thought: Spirit is eternal energy. It exists in many dimensions, beyond our understanding of time and place. The bonds of relationships with the deceased impact our lives in huge ways. Respect that phenomenon, work with it, and you will find much opportunity to shift some of the “stuckness” you might be struggling with in your life. The “veils” between dimensions are very thin at this time of year – This magical Halloween energy is a great opportunity to connect with Spirit!

Many blessings,

Paula