HAPPY HALLOWEEN: FACING THE GHOULS WITHIN
Halloween is one of my favorite little holidays. I love all the nutty ways people poke fun at the dark side of life - of death and fear, and all those things we don’t like to face on a “normal” day. Halloween draws on humor and silliness to help us honor and cope with the often unconscious, daily companions to life: death, loss, and fear. All that candy given out at Halloween somehow gives us permission to bring sweetness to the inevitable pain and death that comes with being alive here on earth.
WHAT I’VE LEARNED
If there is one very big, important lesson that I’ve learned on my spiritual path, it’s that I’ve got to be honest about what’s going on within myself; I’ve got to face my own inner ghouls. I’m not always successful at this, because it’s hard to do this sometimes. We humans can get really defensive at times, and it’s hard to admit to ourselves that we are mistaken, in emotional pain or fear, have undesirable sides to our personalities, or that we’re being inauthentic.
We try so hard to live up to our own lofty self-images. We want to be perfect. We want to be kind, loving, giving, patient, and very saint-like. But in fact, we’ve all got a shadow side; emotions can arise that are envious, greedy, fearful, sneaky, bullying, critical, shameful, judgmental, lazy, full of rage, bitter, self-serving and other various shades of narcissistic. This is all part of being human and we can all go into these various states at times, in varying degrees.
It can be subtle the way these things show up, and to see it within, you just have got to get really honest with yourself. InTwelve Step circles, they ask you to take a fearless and searching moral inventory. In other spiritual practices, you might practice meditation or contemplation to this end. It’s really important to make it a daily habit to take your eyes and turn them inward.
REPRESSION CLOGS THE PIPES
The problem is that in not honoring our more negative aspects and feelings, we push them away, and this repression clogs up the flow of authenticity and grace in our lives. When we can just say to ourselves, for example, “okay, envy is happening,” then we are in a state of being authentic, of being in truth. We don’t have to talk ourself out of being envious! We just need to see it. In this example, just admitting that envy is happening, actually, is being present to oneself. Being present to oneself is the door to being with the “what is” of reality. And when we’re present to the “what is”, life will flow through us, often bringing blessings and miracles to us.
Being in the flow of life leads to greater good. When we show up to accept the “what is” of our inner state, then that state moves on, for the “what is” is always in a state of flow and change.
RESISTANCE GROWS THE GHOULS
So in other words, being in resistance to these inner ghouls only make the ghoulish aspects grow bigger. They can create patterns of thinking and behavior that block us from getting what our hearts desire.
It’s the resistance to seeing our inner states that blocks our insights, communication, and general well-being. It’s when we repress and ignore our inner-ghouls, that sometimes they show up unexpectedly — they leak out in passive-aggressive comments, express as downright judgmental viewpoints, or sometimes explode in basically unkind, un-pretty behavior. Do you know what I mean? We’ve all been there!
ACCEPT YOUR GHOULS
